Family to Family Adoptions Inc, Adoptive Families, Birth Mothers

Family to Family Adoptions has been placing babies for ten years and has completed over 250 adoptions, both international and domestic. Each adoption placement is different but one thing that remains true is that the process can be emotional for both the adoptive parents and the birth parents. This past year, Family to Family implemented a required training class for all adoptive families signing on to adopt through our agency. These training courses are designed to guide adoptive families through the various stages of the adoption process and help ease some of the emotions. One of the topics we cover at this training is using positive adoption language throughout the process including before, during and after placement.

 Using positive adoption language will not only assist in making both the adoptive family and the birth family more comfortable but will also aid with many misconceptions that are related to adoption. For example, saying a birthparent is going to “terminate their parental rights” is considered a positive term whereas “giving up a child” is a negative term. Birth parents decide to make adoption plans for their child because they love their child and to say that they are giving a child away places judgment on a biological parent. Another way of saying this would be to “make an adoption plan” versus “give away”. On the flip side of that, a birthparent that changes their mind about placing a child decides “to parent” instead of she decides to “keep” the baby.  It is also more appropriate to say “birthparent” or “biological family” instead of saying they are the “real parent”.  If you would like a list of the terms we use in our training course, please contact Family to Family or you can find some listed at www.adoptivefamilies.com. You can also view more of these terms on this blog, Using Postive Adoption Language.

 There are many other terms and phrases related to the adoption process but I hope that this just gives you a place to start thinking about how you will use positive adoption language in your adoption process. I also encourage you to discuss the idea of using positive language with your extended family and friends as well as your child. This is very important to ensure that your child sees their adoption story in a constructive light as well as it can help alleviate the common misconceptions of adoption and spread a more optimistic view on adoption in general. If you have questions about positive versus negative terms please contact us.  I also encourage you to share, by leaving a comment to this post, some terms that you use in your family or used during your adoption process as well as please feel free to list any negative terms or phrases that you have heard people say about adoption. Keep an eye on this blog for how to address negative terms and phrases and misconceptions on the adoption process.

From time to time, we come across references to our services on the web where people are talking about us. We recently found a post on another blog, in response to a question on that blog, that referred to our services. Here is the response, just as posted on the site:

“My husband and I have a daughter that we adopted through an adoption agency calledFamily To Family Adoptions Inc. they were wonderful to work through.

We had already completed our homestudy through an independant agent. With a homestudy they do background checks, ask you and your spouse lots of questions, make sure your house meets safety standards.

Once we called the agency we filled out an application, and they then presented out to expecting mothers. Once one of the mothers picked us, we were and waited for our daughter to be born. However, we only waited a week, because her birthmother was at the end of her pregnancy.

With the profile, it will consist of a letter you write to the birthmother, it is called the Dear Birthmother. There will also be pictures of you and your family, maybe your house, pets, etc.  This profile needs to help the birthmother know you just by reading it.

In some cases the birthmother will want to meet before the birth, sometimes birthmother will never want to meet you.

FOSTER CARE

To become foster parents you need to take a course provided by the state to receive a liscense. In many states this course is called PRIDE Classes. Parents Resources for Information, Development, and Education. There will be between 30-35 hours of class time plus homework. The state will then have a homestudy done for you the same way you would for the adoption agency.

Once everything is cleared they will send you your liscense and you will be able to start fostering. With the time your case worker is with you you will have figured out how many children you can care for and what ages you would like to work with.

Adoptions prices can be $ 17000 to $ 30000

There will almost always be an aplication fee but NEVER pay more that $ 500 for that fee.

Our adoption cost was about $ 17000 to the agency, then about $ 700 for lawyer fees to finalize the adoption.

Foster care just cost the time you invest in it. We are also starting the adoption process through foster care and that is just going to cost lawyer fees for finalization.

Our adoption agency is Family To Family Adoptions Inc and their website is fam2fam.org or phone number 281-342-4042

Good Luck!”

This is the unedited posting. We chose to re-post it because it is one of several responses to the question and is a little hard to find on the other blog.

Once you are approved to adopt a child the next step is to create your adoption family profile. There are usually lots of questions on how to do this and what should be included.  Whether you choose to create your family profile on paper or use some scrapbooking software or online photoshop, we have added an article to our website filled with tips and ideas on topics that are commonly used and areas of interest for birthmothers.  You can follow these tips and guidelines to creating your profile or complete it the way you prefer.  Use our checklist as a guide, but be yourself and have fun doing this, remembering that one day you will share this profile with your adopted child.

For any families that adopt or have adopted a child after September 1, 2010, there are new post placement requirements for your family if you plan to finalize your adoption in the State of Texas. We are now required to have five face to face visits before the consent to adopt can be signed. One of these visits must be in your home and at least three of these have to have all family members present. Families that adopted before September 1, 2010, please contact your social worker to schedule these visits and discuss any questions you may have regarding the change. A new payment scale has been implemented for home study and post placement visits through our agency. Please email Jennifer at jennifer@fam2fam.org with any concerns or questions regarding the new post placement requirements.

Adoption Learning Partners is offering a webinar on September 15, 2010 called “Is That My Birth Mom on Facebook?”

Interested in learning more about the webinar visit the Adoption Learning Partners website. Adoption Learning Partners also offers various courses of training regarding adoption. If you are a Family to Family adoptive family, these courses and webinars can count towards your required hours of training. Contact us to find out how. The training on adoption topics can help you through your adoption journey and help you decide if adoption is right for you.

Are you or someone you know experiencing an unplanned pregnancy? If so, first stop and take a deep breath and realize that you are not alone. Research has stated that every year 49% of pregnancies are unplanned, the highest percentage being among teenagers and individuals who do not have easy access to birth control.

If you are pregnant, you have several options to consider. These include parenting your child, having an abortion, or deciding to make an adoption plan for your child. This decision will be difficult and should not be made lightly. You will be forced to reflect on past events in your life that got you to this point as well as thinking of your future with a child and how that will affect your dreams and goals. If you are at a place in life where a child fits into your plan, then congratulations on your pregnancy.

It is important to immediately start receiving good prenatal care and taking care of you. If you are not at a time in your life where a child fits into the picture then you have a decision to make. Know that because you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are considering not parenting a child does not mean that you do not love or want this baby. It just means that now is not a good time for you. Maybe you are in school working towards a degree, maybe you are on the fast track at a job, maybe you are not in a committed relationship and cannot raise a child on your own or maybe you just are not ready to have a child to care for at this time.

So now you must decide between having an abortion or placing the baby for adoption. If you are considering an abortion, you will want to consider all of the pros and cons of the process and talk to someone that handles abortions and get all of your facts first. You should also consider that there is an abortion alternative and this process is adoption.

The word adoption is becoming more widely used thanks to the many celebrities and high profile individuals that have announced their adoptions. Adoptions used to be a closed process but now they are more open. Open adoptions leave the birthmother to choose the family for her child and receive updates of the child after the placement. Meeting and getting to know your adoptive family will make your adoption experience much more enjoyable.

Finding the right adoption agency to work with can be overwhelming. There are so many agencies out there that it can be difficult to decide. Gather as much information about the adoption agencies that you can and then work with the agency that best suits your needs and that you are the most comfortable with. Having a relationship with the adoption professionals will also help in making this process easier.

An unplanned pregnancy is difficult and will change your life whichever path you choose. Making this decision will be one of the hardest decisions you will ever make, but by taking the time to research your options and listening to yourself, you will be able to figure out which path is for you. Your baby is counting on you to make the best decision for his/her life so let the idea sink in and then think of you and your future and your baby’s future.

Are you faced with an unplanned pregnancy and considering placing your baby for adoption? Making the decision to place your child for adoption is a very hard one but also a very loving one. Family to Family’s staff can help you through the process of finding the right home for your child. We have adoptive families that all have been carefully screened and are waiting to bring a child into their home. Visit our website or contact us and we can get you started in the process of placing your child for adoption. If you are considering placement but are not sure and would like someone to talk to give us a call and then you can make your decision. Whether you choose adoption or to parent your child we wish you the best of luck.

“We drove 27 hours straight through to get from our Midwest home to Texas and arrived at the hospital when our beautiful baby was 22 hours old!”

Another testimonial from one of our adoptive families tells us again that the work we do here has an impact on people’s lives. We always appreciate these kinds of stories because they remind us over and over again that our efforts are meaningful (and appreciated).

Visit our web site to learn more about the adoptive process and see how we might be of service to you in your efforts to build your family!

All of our adoptive families have been carefully assessed and approved by a licensed social worker as an adoptive parent. Adoptive parents have been through a home assessment, criminal background checks, child abuse checks, and have also provided information about their medical, financial, and family backgrounds.

Each adoptive family has applied to adopt a child and has been through all of the necessary steps to become approved as an adoptive parent. You get to choose the family for your baby and meet them. You will know by talking with them and asking them questions if they are the right family for your child.

To learn more about this process, please download the Common Questions by Birth Parents on our website.

Most people have misconceptions about how adoption works. When you are facing an unplanned pregnancy alone and have very little information or resources, you need a place to get your questions answered in a no-nonsense way. We are here to explain your options, the processes, procedures and support you every step of the way. Our life-time post placement services include grief and loss counseling, vocational or educational counseling. Contact us today! 1-800-685-6301 or read our frequently asked questions from birthmothers.