One important part of the adoption process is establishing a plan of contact after the baby is placed with the adoptive family. Both the biological family and the adoptive family agree on the amount of contact that both parties are comfortable with and an adoption plan is signed with the agency. Family to Family’s minimum required amount of contact of the adoptive family is to send pictures and letters of update to the biological family through our agency every 3 months for the first year and twice a year after that until the child is 18 years old. Some adoptive families and the biological family have a more open adoption and agree to more contact or have a different arrangement other than what is required of Family to Family.
The agency encourages biological families to send pictures and letters of update as well. This is also important for the adoptee. The adoptive family should keep these photos and updates in a special place for the adopted child to give to them when the timing is right. However most biological families lose contact with the agency and the adoptive family after placement.
Losing contact with your child’s biological family can be sad not only for the child but also for the adoptive family. One of our previous adoptive mother’s recently wrote a blog about how she did not realize how affected she would be when they lost contact with their child’s family. She describes her feelings and her concerns over losing this contact.
It is also equally important for adoptive families to uphold their agreement and to send pictures and updates to the agency. The biological family trusts you to do this when she chooses you as the adoptive parent of her child and she has made your desire of becoming a parent possible by making an adoption plan. Sending these pictures and letters as agreed shows the biological mother how grateful you are as well as it ensures her that she made the right decision for her child not only by placing but by choosing you as the parents.
If the agency or you as the adoptive family lose contact with your child’s biological family, Family to Family encourages you to continue sending these updates and photos to us. We will keep them and send them to her when and if the biological family makes contact again.